The Bay of Islands – the sexy part of New Zealand you had no idea existed.
There is a man in the north of New Zealand who sails around in a Mr Incredible style eye mask and makes the best ham sandwiches. Captain Davey; the unsung hero of packed lunches. Those fortunate enough to encounter this soft-spoken shipmaster should know that when he places his hands together as if to whisper ‘namaste’ but instead asks you ‘mayonnaise?’, just say yes. Climb up on deck, slap on some SPF30 Hawaiian Tropic and wait for the magic to happen.
To say the North Island is your least favourite of the two parts that make up New Zealand is a bit like saying your left testicle is your least favourite of the two; you value both, but one holds a more special place in your heart. However, something the north does boast over the south is the Caribbean-like shores that hug it. There is an abundance of beach spots to pick from when cruising through the north, but some stand out in the memory and the guide books more than others. Ninety Mile Beach is one of them. It’s a huge stretch of damp golden road (ironically only 55 miles long) that Land Rover Discoverys just love to tear across. Like most of New Zealand, the vast expanse of beach is deserted; the travellers in their 4×4’s are the lucky ones leaving tracks in the sand as it’s officially a ‘highway’. With no traffic, no wildlife or human life to dodge and with the wind so very much in your hair, speeding down the endless crust of New Zealand really is an unforgettable experience.
Hot Water Beach is another spot for pie-eyed wanderers to take their shirts off and dip a toe, except the revellers flock to this heated hang out at night-time. The thing to do here is to release the inner toddler in you and dig. Dig the biggest hole you can, and then sit in it. The naturally hot water from the pools below the sandy surface will rise up and, hey presto, you’ve got yourself a 100% natural hot tub. Just up the road is Cathedral Cove; another sand-covered stunner of a location. The arch that acts as the beach’s halfway house is quite a sight, and when the sun hits the right angles looks like the portal into the Promised Land.
However, Elysium matches closest to The Bay of Islands, where Captain Davey drifts upon the metronomic tide with a ham sandwich in hand. The Bay of Islands is made up of about 140 iddy biddy subtropical islands that map out channels for pleasure cruises, dart races and Captain Davey’s day trips. The mood in this part of the world takes chilled and rams a big fat joint into its mouth. Worries seem to retract with the gentle tides and the South Hemispherean sunshine cooks off any trepidatious residue, leaving behind only the concentrated good stuff. Summers here mean less clothes and more serenity; darker skin and lighter minds. The Bay of Islands is a lesser known gem of New Zealand, but one that will not be forgotten in a hurry.
P.S. Ham sandwiches.
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."
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